The Question of Tenacity
by miofish
Summary: Throughout the years, Skye has held herself so well against Jeffrey's advances, people often forget she isn't infallible.
1. like icarus

a/n: takes place sometime during Jeffrey and Skye's college years.

* * *

"Icarus. Ever heard of him?"

"Sure. From the Greek myths, right?"

"He was the one who fell in love with the sun," Skye said, making a note in a passage that particularly struck her interest. She couldn't remember another day she felt so relaxed. Maybe it was the piece Jeffrey was playing on Batty's piano- Liebesleid by Kreisler.

Two incompatible keys sounded together in a disjointed crunch. Skye raised an eyebrow. Recovering immediately, Jeffrey continued to play, unaffected like the superb musician he was. "That's a…interesting interpretation."

"It's _Jane's,"_ Skye said, feeling like a fool for bringing up the dreaded topic.

"I figured." The corner of his lips twitched.

"If you ask me, I'd say it's a tragic story of ambition. But…" she trailed off, furious with herself.

What is _wrong_ with her?

"But?"

The look in Jeffrey's eyes killed her. Skye tore away from it, turning back to her book though she flipped page by page without reading a word. She just _couldn't_ lose her temper, especially not today. Jeffrey had promised Batty to take her out to breakfast the next morning, and she'd be damned if she ruined it like she had done almost three years ago. Skye took a deep breath, valiantly attempting to scale the pit she had dug for herself. _Stupidstupidstupid._

"It's not a happy story."

"It isn't," Jeffrey affirmed.

Skye stared into the back of Jeffrey's head, willing him to turn around. He didn't. From her angle, she could see Jeffrey's brow furrowing, and recognized the sheer concentration that was exuding from him. The conversation was over. She felt the stiffness leave her shoulders, which slightly bewildered her. She hadn't realized she had been so tense.

"But it could be one."

Skye blinked in surprise. She had found herself lost in Jeffrey's music and it took her a moment for the words to register. She hadn't even realized the piano had grown silent under Jeffrey's hands.

Anxiety, maybe, anger, probably, and some terrible, potentially reactive components of a feeling she never wanted to learn clawed at her heart. Somehow she felt like she was drowning- the water, frigid, filling her lungs, stealing all the breath out of her. Yet heat rushed to her neck and she fisted her clammy hands into the material of her jeans. She hated how familiar this feeling was and how it never failed to scare her.

Skye steeled herself. But no matter how far her temper might drive her, she wouldn't send Jeffrey back to Boston. She, if not more, owed Batty that.

And besides, they've been having the same conversation for the past five years. Nothing had really changed; she knew what Jeffrey would say, she knew how it would affect her. She knew what to expect.

Surely, she could handle another one, and maybe, _maybe_ , after this one, something would change.

* * *

a/n: this was really short haha maybe the next chapter will be more idk satisfying. bc next chapter things will actually happen?


	2. the best plot is convoluted (i)

a/n: it's been a while (like years. actual years) but here ya go. fake dating trope because why not? :') by the way, thanks for all the comments i received for last chapter (which were posted, yknow, years ago. years! sorry, still not over that).

in regards to the content of this chapter, it has nothing to do with the previous chapter.

* * *

 **the best plot is convoluted**

 **part i**

It was winter holidays and all was well in the Penderwick household. For sisters Rosalind, Skye, and Jane were home and the Penderwick family was finally together again with the addition of a very special guest. Jeffrey had specially slotted time in his vacation to visit the family.

That afternoon however Jeffrey and Skye decided that they were unable to attend the lunch with the Geigers. Rosalind and Tommy were engaged and this lunch was the beginning of many, many get-togethers in order to discuss the upcoming wedding.

Jeffrey had claimed that jet lag was finally catching up to him and rightly so (just a day ago, he had been in Germany performing) while Skye had insisted that although it was the holidays, her work load hadn't lessened and she had an upcoming deadline.

This coincidence, they had both insisted, had occurred without either of the other's knowledge. Both seemed perfectly morose by their inability to attend yet Mr. Penderwick was apt to urge a little more scrutiny when considering their intentions.

Skye's feelings had been clear for a while but it was difficult to tell Jeffrey's feelings toward his middle daughter, Mr. Penderwick noted with a twinge. Gone were the days when Jeffrey's feelings were bared open for all to see. He had changed. Had it really been so long ago that he had comforted eleven year old Jeffrey under the roof of Arundel cottage? He supposed it was. Twelve years had past since then.

"I assume the house will be intact when we return home?" Mr. Penderwick said to Skye. He was only half joking. Rosalind and Jane were already crossing the street, whispering to each other in hushed tones. Ben, Batty and, Lydia weren't too far behind.

"No promises," Skye joked, smile quicksilver.

"Well don't be too hard on him, daughter of mine."

This time she caught his hesitant tone. "You have nothing to worry about, Daddy. So go have a great time. Iantha, please make sure he does."

"Of course, Skye."

"And these are the times when I worry the most," Mr. Penderwick muttered as Skye closed the door.

Iantha touched his shoulder and gently guided him down the porch steps. She gave him a mischievous look as they crossed the street. "She's sweet with him."

"Is she now," Mr. Penderwick said dryly. As much as he loved Skye, sweet wouldn't be a term he would use to describe his daughter's treatment of Jeffrey- or of anyone actually. But especially Jeffrey. They had given each other so much grief in the past. And standing out in his memory was that horrid graduation party... He still shuddered to remember it.

"Come now. Jeffrey isn't the only one who has changed. Skye has done plenty of growing up as well."

He allowed himself to be comforted, taking a deep breath of the icy December air. "You're right."

"Of course I am."

* * *

Whether Mr. Penderwick's worries were founded or not, things were quite unenventful in the Penderwick home. Because for the next four hours, there was nothing to be heard but the clack of Skye's fingers moving across her laptop keys while Jeffrey lightly snored on the couch across from her. Or at least she thought he was sleeping. He hadn't shifted in a while but it was also possible that she was too deep in her zone to have noticed in the first place.

At one point, Asimov slinked into the room. Skye didn't notice him at first and only did he catch her attention when he leapt up onto Jeffrey's back to sniff and paw at his head. Asimov had always been a little wary of Jeffrey much to his disappointment. If only Asimov showed Jeffrey this much attention when he was awake.

"Shoo," she hissed, waving her hand. "Leave Jeffrey alone."

The cat gave her what she interpreted as a peeved look but did as told: he leapt off of Jeffrey's back, bounded across the coffee table, and instead sidled next to Skye on the couch. She made a face at him but was secretly pleased. It was nice. To be someone's secret favorite. Even if that particular someone was a cat.

"Really?" She scratched him behind the ear, one eye on Jeffrey. She expected him to wake up but he hadn't stirred in the slightest. "I didn't mean for you to come over here."

Asimov meowed, arching into Skye's touch.

He kept her company until Jeffrey woke up. The moment he showed any sign of consciousness, Asimov made his escape.

"Feeling refreshed?" Skye asked when he finally sat up, hand running through his dark hair.

Jeffrey yawned, stretching. His sweater rose up, revealing taunt skin. Skye was careful not to give the impression that she was staring.

"Very, thanks." He gave her a quick smile before he padded away in the direction of the bathroom. Skye returned her attention to her laptop. She smiled, pleased. The timing couldn't have been any better. She had nothing but the conclusion to finish and that was easier than reciting the first ten digits of pi. Skye tackled it with renewed gusto and by the time Jeffrey had returned- hair freshly brushed and a mug of tea in each hand- she had submitted the document.

"All done?" Jeffrey asked as Skye snapped her laptop shut.

"Yeah."

"Excellent." He passed her a mug. She accepted it, making a noise of gratitude before she sipped some of the piping hot liquid. "Because I have something to tell you. Remember Mother?"

"No, I've completely forgotten her existence. But yes. Her. Is she still bugging you about your career?"

"If only that was the case. Lately, her calls have been always about meeting someone and getting married and how she needs me to give her a couple of grandchildren before and I quote, 'it's too late.'"

"Marriage!" Now that jarred her. Mrs. Tifton wouldn't force Jeffrey into marriage...would she? Honestly, she didn't know what to expect. Skye hadn't met Mrs. Tifton (probably to her own benefit) since she had been eleven and thus, any memories of her were probably unfairly distorted by her younger self and akin to a horror film.

"Well maybe that's a little extreme," Jeffrey acquiesced. "But Mother has been growing er, a bit uneasy about the lack of women I've been bringing home especially since so many of her friends' children have been pairing up."

"That's moronic. Everyone does that at their own pace. And it can't be helped you're moving at the speed of a snail's."

"Well as moronic as it sounds, it isn't to her. She's genuinely worried about my prospects." Prospects? Gag. Hurl. "And with the help of oh so benevolent Mrs. Robinette, she's been setting up blind dates for me.

"And if that wasn't the least of it, they've all been surprises. There was even a time when a girl stopped by at my apartment. But I supposed that one's partially my fault. At one point, I stopped taking Mother's calls."

Skye's mouth dropped open. Once again, she was floored by the excessiveness that was Mrs. Tifton.

"It's been terrible. And all the girls- they're under the impression that I wanted to meet them and I feel perfectly awful when I have to break it to them that I have absolutely no interest in going farther than the first hello."

"How long has this been going on?" Skye asked sympathetically.

"A month," Jeffrey said and rushed to add, "And don't look at me like that, Skye. It honestly wasn't at the forefront of my mind and you know how both of us have been so busy this past semester that we didn't even have a chance to breath let alone sit down and have a good talk."

They now lived less than thirty minutes apart but there was verity in Jeffrey's words. Wholeheartedly, Skye agreed that school was downright hellish these days.

"Well maybe it wouldn't too bad to get to know one of them," Skye said. "Just to get her off your back."

"But I don't want to." His refusal sounded so incredibly petulant that it made her smirk.

"You make it sound like one blind date is equivalent to a round of torture," she teased.

But he didn't respond in kind. "Well I'm not interested in a relationship right now. I have my master's to complete and my music and-" He paused. Gave her a significant look. "I didn't think I would have to explain this to you."

Skye bristled. It felt like they were talking about something else. It felt like he was calling her a hypocrite. "You don't. Because I understand. Completely."

"Good."

He didn't sound like it. "Are you sure?"

"Of course I am. I'm good. Fine. Just dandy, in fact."

"Well then- _good_."

They began to laugh. Nervous, careless, forced, casual laughter. It was times like these that Skye wished the universe would have a bit of mercy and zap her out of existence. She was too mortified to live.

"Well any ideas?" she said, when their laughter was bordering on awkwardness.

"Just one," he said with some sheepishness.

She rolled her eyes. He had probably been directing the entire conversation in preparation for this moment. "Let's hear it."

He stalled. "To be honest, Mr. Penderwick inspired a good deal of it."

"Daddy-?" Skye slapped her hand against her forehead when the realization hit her. "An imaginary girlfriend? As if your mother would fall for that."

"Not imaginary- a fake girlfriend."

Skye burst out laughing. She couldn't help it. Somehow that was even more ridiculous. "And that makes that idea _so_ much better."

"It is with you in it."

Skye stopped laughing. She cast him a suspicious look. "Jeffrey Tifton, what did you do?"

Sensing preeminent danger, Jeffrey held a throw pillow between them like a shield.

"I might have told Mother I was seeing someone else before she could hoist another girl on me," he said very quickly.

Skye's mouth fell open in outrage. "And I might just punch you until you're black and blue."

He dodged her grip, of course. He had been expecting it and besides, he was faster than her, much to her chagrin. But that was a fact that Skye had to accept long ago. That because he was a boy, he was a faster runner, a better soccer player, and could do more push ups. But Skye was already over that. Really.

He caught her wrists before they could collide into him. "Just hear me out, Skye!" he said, before the Penderwick could make due on her threat. "I just need you to help me out for one night- that one New Year's gala I told you about."

She shrugged off his grip and backed off. No sense in going treading into a place she didn't want to go. "Yes, I distinctly remember you talking about what a colossal pain that event is." Exasperated, she raised an eyebrow at him. "Here's a solution: why don't you just talk to her instead of dragging me into this harebrained scheme."

"Oh I've tried," he said grimly. "But Mother's on a mission. She's more invested in this than she ever was about my music."

Jeffrey and Skye sat in silent contemplation. If anything was for certain, even Skye couldn't deny that Mrs. Tifton dearly loved her son- even if her love was often expressed in...misdirected ways.

Skye heaved out a sigh. "Jeffrey, this is complete baloney."

"Please Skye," Jeffrey begged. "My sanity is at stake here. Besides, as my very best friend, you wouldn't leave me to flounder in this mess alone- would you?"

The best friend card! If nothing else, Penderwicks were wholly loyal. She couldn't refuse when he put it like that. But what was with the way he said it? Because behind that lighthearted tone, there was a trace of uncertainty. Skye was offended. He knew that she loved him. Would do anything for him. Didn't he?

"Ugh," Skye groaned. "I'll have you know that this is going to completely upend my holiday. I have a schedule to maintain."

" _I have a schedule to maintain_ ," he mimicked.

Jeffrey wheezed and cradled his arms around his poor ribs. Skye's elbow was very sharp indeed.

"Mocking me isn't going to help your case," she said primly and threw a pillow at his head.

Grinning, he caught it deftly and returned it to its rightful place. All business now, Skye whisked their mugs off the coffee table before heading toward the kitchen. The sun had set without their notice and soon enough, the Penderwicks would be home and clamoring for something hot to drink.

Jeffrey plopped down on one of the stools that circled the kitchen island. Skye felt his gaze on her back as she filled the kettle with water and set it on the stove to boil.

"You didn't give me an answer," Jeffrey said.

Did she really have to spell it out? "Of course it's a yes, you doof. Now get up and help me get dinner started. I'm starved."

* * *

a/n: please note that the rating has been kicked up a notch because Skye and Jeffrey are desperately in need of some sexytime. but this is assuming that i'll update. ;)

kidding. because one thing for certain is that i have at least half of this storyline down so there shouldn't be any cliffhangers at any rate. but feel free to bug me to update if i'm being particularly slow. seriously.


	3. lucid dream (i)

**lucid dream**

 **part i**

 _Mommy slept on the right side of the bed. Daddy slept on the left. Skye Penderwick stood uncertainly in the doorway of her parent's room._

 _"Mommy." She was about to shake her awake, but Skye realized that despite the late hour, Elizabeth Penderwick was still awake. Daddy snored quietly beside her. Skye never thought to ask why._

 _"Let me guess- monster under your bed?" Elizabeth asked, lifting the covers for Skye to squish in._

 _She was trying to make her smile. Never had Skye believed in monsters that lurked in the darkness of her bedroom. "Maybe under Jane's."_

 _"What then?"_

 _"I had a bad dream."_

 _"About what?"_

 _"Can't remember." Skye pressed herself against the soft warmth of her mother. "But I'm still scared."_

 _"It's all in your head, Skye," she whispered. Her breath was blessedly warm against her ear. Skye's eyes lowered._

 _"It still hurts," she mumbled._

 _Skye felt her mother kiss her brow. "Only if you let it."_

* * *

Kissing Jeffrey is a little like losing herself.

They part, gasping. Skye had pushed him away first. In the dimness of her room, she can see that his lips are swollen. She imagines hers must look the same.

She stands up from the bed and stumbles back to put distance between them because clearly she has no restraint. Thinking that she's trying to leave him, Jeffrey shoots up and grabs her wrist. She shakes him off.

"This isn't real." Her voice is so breathless. Distant. She hates it.

"Tell me," Skye insists again, not to Jeffrey, but more to herself. Panic is high in her voice. "Tell me that didn't just happen."

Meanwhile, Jeffrey stands stone still, an unreadable expression on his face. He finally lowers his hand. "Is it so terrible?" Jeffrey finally asks. "Is it so terrible to be attracted to me?"

Skye opens her mouth. Closes it. She cannot muster any words. Or anger. Where is anger when she needs it?

"You know that isn't how it is," she finally says. She has enough shame to not raise her voice but enough pride to sit up a little taller, to inject that know-it-all tone into her voice.

"Yet," he says coolly.

 _Yet_.

They stare at each other. The shared knowledge buzzes between them like live wire.

She considers acknowledging it first. She could fashion the conversation so it's on her terms. But he beats her to it.

"You kissed _me_." He says it with such vicious satisfaction that she's frozen all over again.

Skye has seen Jeffrey angry. But never at her. Never at any of the Penderwicks. But now that she's at the center of it, it's terrifying. It's like a bomb contained and that's what frightens her the most: his restraint. When Skye is angry, she lashes out desperately like a trapped animal. But Jeffrey thinks. He's deliberately cruel. The realization is startling. She's known him for years but she had never really realized until now. And never had she ever imagined this:

That he would lean forward and pull her forward by the shoulders to press his lips against hers. Punishingly. She sinks. It's easier than the last time. She grasps his shirt as his hands snake through her hair, pulling her head back. Her mouth opens beneath his and she feels the brief heat of his tongue before they break apart.

Jeffrey watches Skye backpedal and hit the wall with a thump. A sardonic smile tugs his lips up. "I rest my case."

"Don't."

He smiles at her again. That same goddamn smile. It's the one he uses with annoying people- with Dexter, with the gold diggers, sometimes with his mother. Tightly, compressed politeness. He uses it when he's tired of people.

"I'm leaving," he tells her. "Before you can kick me out."

The barb isn't lost to her and she's reeling. She's reeling from the blow as Jeffrey leaves the room, as Jeffrey tip toes down the stairs, as Jeffrey leaves through the front door, only to lock it behind him with a key. His key.

"Skye." At the sound of her name, Skye tenses. She desperately wishes it not to be Jane or Batty. They might be her sisters but they would never understand.

Someone must have been listening because it isn't Jane or Batty, it's Rosalind. Blessed Rosalind.

 _Understand me. Please._

"Is it true?" Her voice too. It's cold. "What Jeffrey said."

Skye finds it useless to lie. "Yes."

"Skye, he's our friend too." Skye's heart prickles. _I know_. "Stop hurting him. Please?"

It's the same plea echoed in Batty's gaze every time she sees them together. She hates it. It haunts her; it scares her. Because she knows. How could she not know?

"What do you want me to do?!" Her ire is hot and swift. There are so many retorts, so many. _Just try me._

"Well you can start by not kissing him."

Her sister's words hits her like a slap in the face and her ire burns to disquiet. Skye sits down and realizes that she's shaking.

"I'm sorry." She says it reflexively. She doesn't mean it. Not really.

"I'm not the person you should be apologizing to." Rosalind points to Skye's window. Jeffrey is marching across the lawn toward his parked car. "He's right there. You can make it if you hurry."

Skye blinks. What could she say to make it better? Whatever her piteous words may amount to, it would be like slapping a bandaid on a gushing battle wound. He's seething and Skye doesn't trust herself to be the calm one in the situation. And one wrong word- their friendship might be finished. For good, this time. It's impossible to deny that the possibility scares her to death.

"I can't." Skye watches Jeffrey open the door and slide inside. The headlights are still dark and the engine is still quiet. Maybe he's trying to calm himself down. By cursing her name.

" _Why_?" Rosalind's voice is barely contained.

"Because I'm a fucking coward."

Rosalind pauses. "Well." She probably hadn't been expecting that. "I suppose that's that then."

She leaves, closing the door behind her.

Skye sits on her bed for a long time, staring at the ground. She never really saw the swirly pattern of her carpet before but now that it's all she's looking at, it's all she can think about. Anything other than Jeffrey is fine.

Skye doesn't usually allow herself to have regrets. She reaches each decision as decisively as opening a door, locking it behind her, then throwing away the key. Today, it's hard. It's hard to stay calm. It's hard to not cry.

The tears begin to bubble up before the hiccupping starts. She presses her closed eyes till light begins to spark beneath her eyelids. Her chest aches from the effort. But she won't let go. She won't.

But like kissing Jeffrey, she realizes that there are some things that she can't help but do.

She doesn't realize when she finally begins to cry. Despite holding it in, there is no relief. The hurt doesn't go away. Her tears are hot and her eyes ache from the effort. Probably from the disuse. But her chest seems to be more free.

She cries silently, mouth moving in soundless screams. How much she would like to actually scream. But she can't bear thought of waking anyone up only for them to become witness to the pathetic person she has become. Since when had she become so weak anyways?

Skye curls up beneath her sheets and for the first time in a long, long time, she wishes her mother was here. Her mother, who had been said to be so like her in appearance and personality, would she understand? She must. But that's a useless wish. Her mother is gone. Dead. So instead, she wishes for the next best thing. What a wretched thing regret makes of her.

Skye doesn't know when she falls asleep. But she must have slept because when she next opens her eyes, it's dawn.

* * *

a/n: i finally feel like i'm getting comfortable with writing again. sadly though, after reading over chapter 2 i found that i'm not really into it. i might leave that arc hanging for now. thanks to everyone who's still reading. your comments mean everything.


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